The Flame, The Hawks, The Armor, and the Chicken
by Lunette Delacroix
Summary: A surprise awaits Riza at her sister's house. But when Roy pulls one wrong move after another, will he be able to make it up to his lieutenant to make the night perfect? Royai and AlOc, mixed universes anime and manga, and my own head
1. Est Cooking Time

**Yay for being bored while my parents and brothers were away! I was making dinner when I came up with this, and I knew my "other self" Shaynai would most likely be doing something similar. So, here's her story. It's AlxShay and RoyxRiza. Please don't hate me!**

**This takes place after Edward and Al return from the Other Side. Alphonse is nineteen, meaning Shaynai is eighteen, Riza is... thirty, and Roy is... le gasp Thirty-FOUR?! Yeah, I do the math. I'm a loser like that.**

**By the way, if I owned FMA, Shaynai would actually be part of the story, Winry would be less annoying, Maes wouldn't be dead, and Roy and Riza would've been together ages ago.**

**Oh, and this is in chapters because I'm too lazy to write the rest of the story tonight.**

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I remember it all perfectly. It was in the evening hours of the day, and I had taken the day off from work to prepare for that night. Hell, I'm a State Alchemist – a general, in fact – not a chef. Everything had be planned, everything to be perfect for them. My only issue was learning how to cook.

It was all planned out: Alphonse would head into town with Roy to do a bit of shopping for that night, while Riza was working on everything that Roy wasn't doing back at the office. They would all show up back at my home (I'd moved out of my sister's apartment) and would have a "secret" double-date. Roy and Riza had to lay low about it, trying to weave their way around the fraternization laws.

I ran around the kitchen like a crazed maniac. At eighteen, I had no idea what I was doing. I usually picked up dinner at work or on my way home. I've never actually cooked before, yet Pony-boy assumes I do. I opened up the fridge to find that Alphonse had been an angel and went to the grocery store and picked up everything I needed for the night's dinner. I scooped out a couple heads of lettuce, some fresh red onion, carrots, and some oranges to add to the salad.

After straining the vegetables, I stared at the orange. I knew I needed to peel it… but nobody understands the hardships of peeling a fruit with two hands… both automail. Steel has a horrible grip. Absolutely monstrous. I looked around; made sure no one was looking, and transmuted the little round fruit. I wasn't going to try to make a fool of myself by attempting to peel it.

I was sharpening a knife when the phone rang. I glanced at the clock – it was already five – and I quickened my pace. I picked up the phone and held it to my ear with my shoulder, "Shaynai."

"Hello, General," A voice was speaking formally.

I scowled, "It's me, you idiot, and you're calling from a payphone, right? Cut the formalities."

"I'm still adjusting to an eighteen-year-old girl being my supervisor," Roy replied, "And I called for a valid reason."

"Hit me."

"What sort of flowers does your sister like?"

I hesitated. No one had asked that before, "Well, I think she likes lilies..."

"Hey, give me the phone!" A voice in the background called. I chuckled as Alphonse yanked the phone from Roy, "Hey, Shay-chan, what about you? What sort of flowers-"

"Aru, tonight is all about Riza. No getting me anything."

"But… you're cooking for the first time tonight, I need to get you something to pay you back!"

Roy yelled in the background, "She's cooking for the first time?!"

I stifled my laughter, "Aru, I'll be fine. Trust me. Not ruining the food is good enough for me."

"Shaynai," Roy took the phone back, "Do you think… do you think Riza's ready?"

I blinked, in slight surprise and confusion, "Ready for what?" When he explained exactly what, I nearly dropped the phone in the sink, "Yes, yes, yes!! Most definitely!!"

"Alright, we'll be at your place soon." Roy replied as Al shot in, "See you, Shay-chan!" I laughed and hung up the phone. I finished prepping the salad and got the chicken out as my elder sister arrived, Hayate following at her heels. She looked around.

"Do you need help cleaning up, Shaynai?"

I nodded pitifully as I put the chicken in the oven. It was to be a 'simple' recipe. "Roy and Al will be over soon, they need to finish some things up."

Onei-san nodded and looked at the table outside, "Are we eating on the porch tonight?"

I nodded, sitting on the kitchen counter, "Yeah, it's supposed to be warm and clear, which is unusal. But I'll take the advantage."

"Unusual weather tends to be a bad omen, Imoto-chan," she forewarned me, "Oh, but you're an alchemist, you don't listen to omens. Everything can be explained by science."

"Well," I gave a small smile, "Not everything."

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**You know, I was _NOT_ intintending on this ending on a happy note. Alas. Chapter two will come eventually. OH, and for those of you who also are reading my other Royai fanfiction, _Trial and Error_:**

**_I have finals this week. I will be able to finish writing chapters, but I doubt I will have them up anytime before school gets out on the twelfth. GOMEN NASAI!_**

**Coming soon: _The Flame, The Hawks, the Armor, and the Chicken: Into the Oven_**


	2. Into the Oven

After spending the next half-hour cleaning the house, Onei-san and I were able to rest

After spending the next half-hour cleaning the house, Onei-san and I were able to rest. And, of course, as soon as we sit down the oven _BING!_s, marking the chicken ready. After groaning, I got up and checked it. I pulled the pan out with my bare (hah!) hands and set it on the hot pad. Riza simply shook her head, "I'm just glad you have automail… thank god you can't burn your hands."

"Meh," I muttered, "I've got enough scars on me to last a lifetime… you do to."

"Don't remind me."

The table was set, the salad was prepared, the chicken was carved, and everything was set up. The table out on the porch was cleaned from the rainy seasons, and a couple candles were ready to be lit. I looked out to check the weather again as Alphonse poked his head through the front door, "Sorry we're late, Shay-chan… whoa." He stopped dead in the doorway and looked around the place. Oh yeah… he and Roy hadn't been to my new house. Oops.

"Al, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" Roy snapped and nudged the boy aside, half-tripping over the large bouquet he'd bought for the lieutenant. I raced over and took the flowers from him. He looked around my home as well. I wasn't used to people staring at it.

"How could you AFFORD this?!" Roy muttered, "When your sister and I simply have apartments…?"

"It's called a state alchemist-general's salary," I frowned, "I may be eighteen, but that means I'm legal now. I can officially be paid well."

I put the lilies in a vase for Riza as Roy embraced her in a hug. I got out some plates, glasses, and silverware as Alphonse came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"So… when can I move in?" He whispered, sending chills down my spine.

"Over your brother's dead body," I laughed, "He hates me enough for spending any time with you whatsoever."

"Please don't joke about that… not after the whole thing with Envy… besides… he's too busy with Roy's niece to notice I'm gone."

"Right, I'll remember. Now, could you please let go of me if you want dinner?"

Alphonse opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing once I gave him the Say-Anything-Royish-or-Edish-And-I-Will-Kill-You look. He started to become more of a teenager since he got his body back… and if you know what I mean by "more of a teenager" than kudos for you. Yeah, Al isn't exactly the most "innocent" person anymore…

Anyways, Roy had released Riza from his grasp and looked around the kitchen. "Interesting… you have a kitchen, yet you never cook?"

I followed closely behind him, "Yeah, yeah, oh, the irony." I had a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

Rolling his eyes, he continued about my home, and I followed, making sure he didn't break anything. Of course, one of his questions didn't surprise me.

"Where's the guest bedroom?"

"I'll show that to you later. Not now. Chill, Ponyboy."

Riza led everyone outside to the table. I looked as the sun was setting over the buildings of the city, giving a small smile. Roy put the vase with Riza's lilies in the center of the table. I sat down and relaxed, "Perfect."

"Not quite," Roy smiled like a gentleman – not a pervert, this time – and pulled an ignition glove from his pocket. I watched carefully as he slipped his fingers through the white glove and put his fingers in a snapping motion next to a candle. SNAP! The wick caught flame. Unfortunately, Roy's hand was a little too close to the candle, and the glove caught flame with an impressive display from the ignition. Everyone backed away from the table.

As Riza ran inside to get some water to douse the flames, Al and I cleared off the table to nothing more could catch on fire. Good-bye, napkins. Roy cursed loudly; throwing the glove off his hand I took the jar of water from my sister and poured it on my colleague. I smashed the glove into the ground as Roy, soaking wet, caught his breath. I surveyed the damage:

Broken candles

Burned napkins and placemats

Burned tablecloth

Broken candlesticks

Food everywhere.

I slowly started cleaning the mess up as Riza got a towel for her date. Alphonse sat down next to me and fixed the table and candlesticks with alchemy, something I could've done on my own.

"Sorry, General Hawkeye," Roy muttered, shivering slightly.

"What did I tell you about formalities? Stop it."

With Roy and I getting on each other's nerves, I knew this was to be a painfully long night.


End file.
